He did it

The conspiracy against you and me is clear now. Until the last few days all of my sources for information about the worldwide financial meltdown came from the mainstream media. I had no idea that such entities as Time Magazine, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, CNN, NBC, PBS, NPR, and hundreds of other sources that I had trusted were out to elect Barack Obama and ignore the truth.

Quite by accident, while out and about doing ordinary old man errands, I came upon conservative talk radio, apparently a medium being suppressed by the mainstream media and unavailable to ordinary people such as total innocents like me – and you.

Until I heard the truth from right wing luminaries I was under the impression that the financial meltdown was caused by entities pointed to by that same mainstream media. Their culprits of choice are hedge fund managers, Wall Street tycoons, **** administration regulatory officials, investment banks (now gone to hell, deservedly), mortgage giants like Countrywide, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and other similar villains in Europe and Asia.

My guess is that most of you were complaining about these institutions and the men and women who ran them. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! If you would only tune in to your local right wing talk radio outlet, the answer is right there for you to learn and to hate. But no, you insist on watching CNN, reading Newsweek and listening to NPR as you go about your ordinary almost traitorous, LIBERAL lives.

Like me, some of you probably claim to be moderates but in the black and white world of conservative talk there are no such beings, so get over it; if you’re not a conservative, you are by definition a LIBERAL. A LIBERAL is far worse than a communist or socialist. I don’t really know why yet, but now that I have found the source of the information, I’ll continue to tune in and let you know in good time.

So for a couple of hours last week I tuned in and found out the name of the person who really caused the multi-trillion dollar meltdown of the global financial system. This person is the most powerful man who has walked the earth since Joe Stalin and is truly far more dangerous. A simple statement of what this person desires is enough to cause the government of the United States to completely change direction, to cause panic on the Asian stock exchanges and to bankrupt small countries like Iceland and Ireland.

The meltdown of the world financial system goes back to a time when this man was masquerading as a minor official in the United States government but spoke up and damned a proposed bill by the majority party in the U.S. Congress, the Republicans, and President ****** *.**** that would have forestalled all of the problems we now face, including acne and ingrown toenails. But this person said, “No!”

What could they do? If he said it shouldn’t pass, what could they do? You really have to understand wasn’t just `no’ it was a LIBERAL `no’. They were obviously powerless, so the leaders of the free world had no choice but to forget about preventing what they knew would be a worldwide financial meltdown and panic.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the man who said `no’ to reining in some of the free market regulatory proposals of the Republicans caused it all single handedly, the most powerful and evil man on the planet is Barney Frank, Democrat Congressman from that LIBERAL bastion, Massachusetts. And you know what; he’s mean to Republicans and sarcastic, too. So tune in conservative talk radio and you’ll find out how you have to vote to stop this powerful enemy of freedom. Darn right!

And I ain’t b.s.n’ ya.