Same but different

The world is out to get Governor Sarah Palin and that’s the only reason the ****/ McCain Campaign in full third term mode has been protecting her from the mainstream media. They’d love to turn her loose on the New York Slimes, but the editorial board and columnists there distort everything, so she won’t really have a chance to strut her intellectual stuff until after this week’s debate.

But thank goodness she’ll be prepared to deal with her democrat counterpart Joe Biden and evil doers everywhere during the contest as she’ll be the only one in the arena standing by her Second Amendment rights in case the questioning gets too hot.

John McCain has complete confidence in his running mate because she’s been fully briefed on foreign and domestic policy. You remember when Henry Kissinger was the most eligible bachelor in the Nixon administration in the middle of the last century; well old Henry woke right up from his nap when he was introduced to the governor and offered to tell her all about all his foreign affairs and about how he used to run the world. His eyes actually opened when telling her about his time in Beijing on behalf of the free world and about the time he and Dick got down on their knees to pray for Judge John Sirica, a truly deep religious experience.

After giving the governor his seven minute condensed version of his seven year Harvard Ph.D. program in political science, Dr. Kissinger pronounced her ready to be President of the United States. The governor, in accepting the degree, praised Henry as one of the greatest Americans who ever lived and thanked his mother for not aborting him saying it just goes to show that a person with a speech impediment can do great things.

As far as that view of Russia from the governor’s backyard boat dock in Wasilla, it’s really just the other side of the lake, but Russia and Alaska look pretty much alike so it’s really the same thing but just different. The governor took the VIP tour of the United Nations complex last week and spent almost half an hour on the flags of member countries, so I expect that she’ll be able to get a solid gentlelady’s `C' when she has to name the flash cards.

The economy’s tougher. `Tranche’ is going to be tough and if Gwen Ifill, the moderator, asks the governor to use it in a sentence there’ll be hell to pay, double ought buck hell. Chuck Schumer was the only person only Capitol Hill who was able to use it correctly, at least while on camera. Barney Frank said he could but chose not to try while front of a live microphone. `Derivative’ will be easier for the governor, as she can fall back on her high school chemistry.

So if you see Governor Palin having to explain how mortgages will be bundled into tranches and how they’ll be priced by Hank Paulson while Biden is asked, true or false, “It is best to buy low and sell high. Or, yes or no, “There really is a free lunch.” you’ll know that the democrats have been successful in getting the fix in on working the debate system against her.

Let’s hope that she doesn’t have to pull out the debate at the request of President **** and John McCain to save the country from a derivative multi-faceted tranche meltdown. But don’t be shocked, it could happen.

And I ain’t b.s.n’ ya.