Thanks for your help

Thanks for writing your representative in Congress on my behalf. You sure told him – or her – that we shouldn’t be bailing out those fat cats on Wall Street and should protect the interests of little guys like me, and I greatly appreciate it. In fact so many of you wrote that you scared the hell out of them.

Thank goodness that you believe so strongly in the capitalist system and the philosophy of Ronald Reagan that you protected those hundred republicans from themselves. They might actually have voted against their principles if you hadn’t intervened. Imagine having to come home and explain to you that they’d gone `wiggly’ as Dame Thatcher would have termed it. But you saved them from having to explain why they’d abandoned the Gipper and gone socialist. Thank you (for me and them).

Not only did you save that pure heart representing you in Washington, you showed those greedy horned devils in New York City a thing or two. Two – why yes; you scored a twofer. Imagine one letter nailing two pigs without makeup – New York and Washington. I often feel the need to express my horror at the behavior of New Yorkers but am so wimpy that I limit my wrath to the Giants and Yankees – the Evil Empire, but I’ll save that for another day. Thank you again.

The Wall Street crowd is so afraid of you that they panicked when that stupid bailout failed and knew that you’d found them out. Boy, did you see them dump that stock? That’ll teach them. They say that more than a trillion dollars was wrung out of the economy. They’ll never doubt you again. Thanks for representing my interests.

President **** looked like a truck hit him. I watched him on TV about an hour ago. He’s just a comedy act now; his own party doesn’t even know his name or hear a thing he says. He vowed to resurrect that lousy plan that he (actually his boys Hank and Ben) and leaders of both parties worked day and night on for more than a week. What morons, they just don’t get it that purists like you believe that those that took the chances should bear the risks. Those hundred republicans bucked **** and their leaders and rejected that slimy package, and if you have to write and call them again to bust it up again, I know you will. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

Regardless of what that nasty tongued Nancy Pelosi says – and thank goodness for those sensitive republican members for teaching her a lesson in manners - or what that discredited `high grade moron’ **** (Chris Mathews hung that one on him) recommend, we can count on you to keep your eye on the ball and keep on kicking those greedy evil doers on Wall Street. I’m praying for you; you’re so good. Thankfully, Congressman Eric Cantor (R. VA) was sensitive to the forked tongue of that awful Nancy and led the revolt on our behalf. Thank you and thanks, Eric.

I don’t follow the news very closely, but I’m looking forward to getting my quarterly 401K statement at the end of the week. Since you made sure that the fat cats took the hit, I’ll be looking forward to big gains. After all, you went out of your way to protect me. Surely it’ll all work out for you too.

And – obviously- I ain’t b.s.n’ ya.